If you really want advice you have to listen to people who are older and wiser and you might not like what you hear. But if your really truly wanting to help yourself in this you will listen.............
Your first mistake is moving in with him. Men get very complacent when a gal moves in. You've heard the saying, Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? It's true. He won't marry because he will be already getting everything = cooking, cleaning sex you name it he is getting it. But you - your not getting the security of the relationship from him. You require something to be attached to so you don't feel like your hanging by a thread in the relationship. Just waiting for the shoe to drop....knowing he's single and can walk away after afew years and now here you are standing there wondering What Happened?? Why?? So you want marriage to secure it. Well .....he doesn't think that way. Men and women have different agendas.
Relationships rarely ever are 50/50 ok. My own wonderful marriage of 11 yrs rarely is that. You have to compromise. Sometimes it's more me sometimes it's more him. But the KEY is your guy is not trying to "compromise" at all. He knows to take out the garbage and lend a hand. He knows to do things around the house to help keep not only the house running smoothly but keep you on an even keel too. But he doesn't. Why? He is selfish. Now I want you to realize this %26gt; If he doesn't act and do things now he sure as hell won't after you marry him ok? He won't. You have to condition a man in the get-go beforehand. I used to work with a lady years ago who had been married for 10 yrs to a man and one day she came into work complaining about how Eddie wouldn't help out at home. He never does anything. They have kids and she works and does everything when she comes home. I said to her 'Catherine it's your fault'. She looked at me like I had lost my mind. I said, 'You have let him go 10 yrs and now you want him to change???' 'You should have worked on him from the very start.
My husband helps out he works but he also puts on a load of clothes or if I pull out clothes out the dryer I ask him to help fold. He does. I incorporate him into the mix!!! Got it? That is what you need to do with this guy. An don't be marrying him anytime soon. You need to "condition" him now before the marriage otherwise walk away. I know that's hard but it's better to walk then go through a nasty divorce maybe with kids involved later on in life all because he wan't the man you wanted.
It's not written in stone to marry. Or for that matter marry any one person. So pick and choose wisely.
I have something that you should try. You should tell him how you feel. It's called "communication". That is the only way you will really know what he thinks about all of this. Good Luck! =]Am i right or wrong?!?
Bring it up, do not let him change the subject with pretty words. Lay down the law, girl.
i bet you dont go to work do you, go clean your houseAm i right or wrong?!?
Sounds like my dearest husband! This fool does not clean, lift a finger at all. Only when I get really upset and start yelling then he'll wash 3-4 dishes and pick up stuff on the floor to shut me up. He works alot and def a good provider and a great father to our children. We don't go out very often and if we do it'll be in a Chinese restaurant. My advise to u is that if rite now you are not happy you will never be happy. I kinda learned the hard way- after 2 kids and 8 yrs of marriage 13 yrs of being together it's not worth it. I'm not happy now nor will be but I'm comfortable with my life. We both work and try to take care of the kids but I guess I'm to blame cuz I never enforce the 50/50 part in the beginning- TRUST me, before you go thru all these lay down the SPECIFIC and do not let him be like this.
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