I this fair???????????

I'm a SAHM. I'm completely dedicated to being trying to be a good mommy. All day and all week everything I do is centered around my children, my home, cooking, play dates, park trips, everything. I don't do anything for myself, ever.



My husband wants to go to his boss' Halloween party and he wants to get wasted. That means I can't drink bc I will have to drive. (I haven't had a drink in 2 years, I breastfed) so I thought this might be an opportunity to have some fun. My husband has other ideas, he wants to drink too, even though he goes to Applebees happy hour every week, and doesn't tell me. (I see it on the bank statements) So I said fine I won't go but I want to go to Universal on Sun with my cousin cause she has a free ticket and that would be an opportunity to have some girl time. He says no cause he's gonna go golfing.



He doesn't even tell me what he's doing, just does it. I never get to make plans and say, "here's the kids all day." I know he works hard but, I do too, and I don't get to go do things ever-forget about him taking me out, he doesn't need alone time with me he says. But is it fair that he gets to do things and I don't. He says, "If you're bored, go get a job." Am I just being whinny?I this fair???????????
No. It is not fair and you are not being whiny. He's being incredibly selfish.



Tell him that you hope he has a lovely time golfing, take enough money out of the bank to get yourself a babysitter for the day, and go out with your cousin.



Keep doing that until he shares some of the responsibility that you've let him shirk for too long. You are a stay-at-home mom, not a slave. These are his children, too. When he is not at work, he is a dad...he should start acting like one.
Sounds like your husband is use to having his way and has no respect for you or what you do. I would have a serious sit down with him and tell him that you are tired of his disregard for you and his inability to relieve you every once in a while. I would also tell him that he needs to find a sitter so that you can go to the park. He needs to be put in his place. I this fair???????????
Hopeful, you are not being whinny. Maybe what you should do is to get a baby-sitter and do some things that you want to do. Your husband's attitude is ridiculous. You are not a slave, but half of a couple, just as he is. You are not bored, you just need some relaxation time.



Regards,

Dan
No he is selfish. find a relly who will baby sit and go to this universal thing and just do it. catch a taxi or get a friend to take you to the boss' party or just stay at home and have a few ppl over n have drinks etc. I this fair???????????
Its not fair. Marriage is a partnership. My husband and i are a team and respect each other enough to let each other know whats going on.

Your husband doesnt seem to let you do much of anything.
No but he's a jackass. Marriage is give and take.
Ooooooohhhhhhh, I would so give him a smack upside the head. I read this to my DH and he says "He's being a jerk." No, it's not fair and he's being very selfish in your marriage. So what if HE doesn't "need" alone time with you, maybe you need alone time with him. You need to find a night when he is home - a weekend and just leave. Don't ask his permission, he's not your father. Tell him you are going and GO. Go to a movie by yourself if you have to. Wander around the mall. Whatever, but get out of the house and leave him to take care of the kids for a change. He has to feed them, change them, put them to bed, tell his friends no if they call to hang out... When you get home and the place is trashed, ask him (in your most innocent voice) what he did while you were gone. Hopefully he'll get the hint.



But you need to stand up for yourself. Make plans - get a sitter if you have to. If he can afford happy hour, you can afford a girls' night out.


Get a babysitter, friend..family member....etc. and start acting the same way he does. Don't tell him what you're doing just do it. Have a girls night out, get sexy and see the look on his face. And if he ask you where you're going just say "Out". Pretty soon he'll get the picture. If he wanted to live the single life and have a maid his *** shouldn't have got married. And what does he mean he doesn't need any alone time with you. I bet he wants alone time when he wants to get laid. I would stop having sex with him just for that comment.